If you give a mom a beautiful day, she is going to send the kids outside and open the windows.

Seeing the dirty, fingerprint covered windows, she is going to clean them.

Feeling the cool breeze blowing in, she will remember to turn off the a/c.

While turning off the a/c, she will think to check the filter and notice the thick layer of dust, so she will change it.

When she goes to throw away the used filter, she will decide to go ahead and take out all the trash in the house.

While emptying the bathroom trash, she will notice the toilet needs to be cleaned.

Since she's cleaning the toilet, she decides to clean the whole bathroom and wash the shower curtain.

When she puts the curtain in the washer, she sees the stacks of folded laundry that need to be put away, so she takes them to the kids' bedrooms.

After putting away the clean laundry, she notices a damp towel laying on the bedroom floor and takes it back to the bathroom.

Being in the bathroom reminds her of the shower curtain in the washer and she figures it is probably done by now.

She takes the shower curtain out of the washer and decides that the dryer will heat up the house, so she takes it outside to hang on the clothes line.

Once she gets outside, she remembers that it is a beautiful day and decides to stay outside with the kids where there aren't any chores to be done.

This is the day the Lord has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24

Note: The above story is a based on actual events in this author's day. It is also an original creation and is not to be used without giving credit to the author - Christy at RaisingKnights.com. Thank you!

Linked to Mama Moment Mondays.

Toddler "I Did It" Book

Sticker charts are an awesome motivator for little ones. We have used them to encourage potty training, hygiene habits, sleeping in own bed, good attitudes and behavior. Usually, I just place a sheet of colored paper on the fridge or other appropriate place and write the child's name on top or print off one of the countless free charts from here. Lately, I have been working on several habits with M2. I thought it would be easier for me and more fun for M2 if he had one place for all of his stickers and to be able to carry it around if he wanted.

It took less than thirty minutes to put together this simple paper book. As a matter of fact, it's so easy that a child can do it. That being said, I'm not giving you any instructions. Now, you can get all fancy if you want, but I know what the eventual fate of this book will be. It is just a temporary tool to help establish a few habits. 

I used Microsoft Word to create the cover and page labels. Do2Learn has a lot of printable clipart for making visual charts for children, especially those with special needs. I also used their clipart to make morning and evening routine charts for the hobbits. 

All you need is:

• Colored card stock paper
• Ribbon or yarn
• Hole punch
• Clipart or hand drawn pictures
• Glue stick or double-sided tape
• Laminator or contact paper (optional for a more durable cover)
• Command hook (optional)

Free eBooks

 6/7/12 - Sorry, they are back to regular price now! 


Here are a couple of free eBooks for you or as a Father's Day gift. 

That's My Teenage Son by Rick Johnson

What a Son Needs From His Dad by Michael A. O'Donnell

Little Words

Photo credit

When you have a baby, you look forward to the day when he speaks his first word. Wondering whether it will be mama or dada. (Sometimes, he surprises you with some other sound, but it's usually one of these.) That day eventually comes and your little one learns that his words have power. At this point, the power to delight his parents and bring smiles and applause.

At about 18 months, M2 had a language explosion. He was learning several new words daily. He would repeat just about every word you said to him...except "love you". Not. Even. Once. I wasn't concerned, but we all became close to obsessed with being the first to get him to say it. That first "luvoo" melted our hearts. He was almost two.

"Luvoo, Momma!"

"Luvoo, Daddy!"

"Luvoo, Bubbie!"

"Luvoo...much!"

It didn't take long for M2 to figure out how to adjust his tone and facial expression to match his words and to occasionally get a desired response. Now, if he causes me pain or spills something, he tilts his head to the side, displays a sad face, and says "torry, Mommy".

Of course, children quickly learn that their words also have the power to inflict pain. All of my boys have used the weapon of words against me at one point or another, but I'm seasoned enough to not let their words get under my skin.

"You're a mean mom!"

"I don't love you anymore!"

"I want a new mom!"

"I hate you!"

Even M2 has picked up on it and I get the occasional "toopid mom". Yes, my 26 month old has called me stupid. He doesn't yet know what it means, but he does know that it's a word that is discouraged and has a negative meaning.

Just as easily as those bitter words spill out, so do sweet words reaffirming a little boy's love for his mother. Complete with kisses and "huggies" around the neck.

"You're the best mom in the universe!"

"I love you to infinity and beyond!"

"I'm going to marry you when I grow up, Mom."

Even little words are a big deal. God has plenty to say about them. Not only do I need to teach my sons to carefully choose their words, but I need to take great care in doing the same. They will follow the example that my husband and I set.

Honestly, writing this post has been very convicting for me. I am not as careful as I should be when speaking to my sons. Many times, I am too harsh or my words are discouraging instead of building up. Please pray for me that the Lord would place a guard over my mouth. That I would set a godly example for my sons with my words, as well as my actions.

Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.
Psalm 141:3

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 18:21    

 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 

         Ephesians 4:29

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. 

 Proverbs 16:24

Happy Mother's Day!

May your day be blessed and filled with loving little words!

The Not-So-Terrible Twos

New parents are always warned of the "Terrible Twos", the period in which your toddler is recognizing his own autonomy, trying to assert his will to make things go his way, and exploring the world.  When I was a young mom of just one, I readily accepted that label as accurate. But as time marched on and we reached three years old, and then four, I realized that two was not that bad. Once I had a couple more kids under my belt, I realized that the twos are not at all terrible, as long as you practice the Four Ps of Parenting.

Prayer
Pray daily for guidance, patience, peace of mind, your child's safety, and forgiveness when you mess up. Because you will mess up. Parenting is hard and we need to rely on our Heavenly Father to help us with this tremendous task.

Be Prepared

• Batten down the hatches! Secure heavy and tall furniture to the wall. Your toddler will most likely try to climb it. Children are seriously injured and killed by falling televisions and furniture every year.
• Never leave the house without diapers or extra underwear, wipes, and an extra set of clothes and shoes. Your toddler will find the only mud puddle around, sit in mashed potatoes at the restaurant, or develop a nasty tummy bug while you are shopping.
• Keep small snacks, toys, or board books in your purse or bag for trips outside the house.
• Your toddler will throw a fit in public at some point. Don't get pulled into the drama. First, check to make sure he is not ill or hurt. Then, stay firm and calm and carry on about your business if possible. If that is not remotely possible, pack him up and abort your mission. 
• You are going to clean up a LOT of spills, messes, and potty training accidents. Just accept it now and keep a large supply of old rags and towels handy. Use the opportunity to teach him how to clean up.

Be Proactive

• Expect that your toddler will act poorly when he is tired, hungry, or sick. Plan your outings around meal times and nap times.
• "No" is the word, at least for a time, so offer choices when you can. It really is okay to let them wear cowboy boots with shorts when you are going to the grocery store.
• Protect your child from well-meaning friends and relatives who invade your little one's personal space. Don't force your child to let someone else hold him or kiss him if he's scared or uncomfortable. Give him time to warm up to them on his own.
• Two year olds do not usually like to share yet. Teach him about sharing by practicing at home and encouraging it when with other children, but don't force it.
• Learn the art of distraction. I always keep a bottle of bubbles in the kitchen because they are like magic for soothing the savage toddler. Figure out what changes your little one's course or stops him in his tracks when he is determined to cause chaos.

Be Patient

According to Dictionary.com, patience is the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

Your little one will feel secure and learn by example when you remain as calm as possible. It's okay to let them see that you are upset, but refrain from having your own tantrum. Yes, I know, easier said than done sometimes. M2 tests my patience daily. Just last week, we were waiting to pay at Crackle Berry and M2 chucked his cup of water at LJ. It busted open when it hit the floor and got me and the lady in front of us. I quickly apologized, but everyone was very understanding. Later the same day, he impulsively threw and broke a plate on the wood floor. As a seasoned boy mom, these things are minor annoyances because I know that messes are easily cleaned up and this stage will pass. It also helps to close my eyes and take a few deep breaths before reacting. :)

What tips do you have for getting through the not-so-terrible twos?

Linked to Titus 2 Tuesday.

Being Transformed By the Grace of God

Grace is hard for me. Intellectually, I get it. But emotionally and personally, I can't quite grasp it. Perhaps, it is because I know that I am so unworthy. Imperfect. Broken. As a result, I find it difficult to consistently show grace to the people I love most, my husband and sons.

While I've been struggling with my feelings and motivation* this past year, my relationships with my sons have been eroding. To be honest, my tank was close to empty and I hit cruise control. The problem with that is that I stopped being an intentional parent and I began reacting to most of the things my sons did, instead of discipling them. Before too long, the only things I could see were the things they did wrong. It became a disheartening cycle of bad behavior and bad attitudes...for ALL of us. Instead of responding to misbehavior with love and grace, I became stricter and angrier. And I lost my joy.

The other side of the problem is the part of me that is hung up on rules and doing things the right way. The part of me that fears that my sons will fall into the trap of sin. That they will repeat my mistakes. That they will become like me. Ironically, I'm discovering that the fruit of my parenting is the opposite of what I desire. While I know what I should do, I have a difficult time doing it. 

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 

Romans 7:15

But recently, God has been loosening my grip on my control issues {which is really fear} and leading me to an attitude of grace. Through prayer and quiet time, the grace of God, and a few different books by enlightened authors, including The Ministry of Motherhood and Grace-Based Parenting, I am having my momma spirit renewed. I'm learning to think differently and I'm changing my vocabulary. Because there are words that can build up or crush a child's spirit. 

My Turning Point

LJ, being at such an impressionable age and still in love with his momma, has been most affected by my wrong attitude and his behavior has plummeted over the past couple of months. Granted, four-year-old boys can be a handful anyway, but when their momma is being a "meanie" it can get a lot worse. He has been escaping the house and going down the block to a friend's house by himself or crossing the street...numerous times each day. He has been spouting off several inappropriate words and has been becoming increasingly defiant. Papa Bear and I have both been at a loss as to how to deal with him and have ended up being too harsh.

Inside, I knew that his behavior was linked to mine. I saw firsthand that a mother truly does set the thermostat for the family. I saw the pain that I was causing my precious little boy. I knew that he didn't want to behave badly, he just didn't know what else to do to get my attention. 

Through words printed on a page, the Lord reminded me of my value as a mother. He showed me that fear only begets more fear and that grace releases people. So, this week, I held LJ in my lap, told him how very much I loved him, apologized for being a "meanie", and asked for his forgiveness. The relief was written on his face as he melted into me. Later in the day, he went outside again and when I found him, he was sitting at the edge of the yard beside his bike watching his brother play with friends across the street. I sat beside him and asked what he was doing. He told me that he wanted to go see his brother, but he didn't. I told him that he made the right choice and I was proud of him. That was the beginning of a momentous change in our home. The tension is starting to loosen and attitudes are already showing improvement. I am beginning to feel right again and, with each step, it is getting easier to respond with love and grace toward my children, even when they push all of my buttons. 

*My choice of phrasing seems to minimize what I've been going through since M2's birth. I suspect that I was experiencing minor postpartum depression at first, which then evolved into a period of major burnout that I have only recently begun to recover from. Hormones can wreak havoc on a woman's emotions.

Good Morning Girls & The Ministry of Motherhood Book Club

I may not be posting regularly due to all of my busy-ness right now, but I am participating in the Good Morning Girls' Bible reading accountability and summer book club. It has officially started but we won't start reading the book until next Monday, May 23. There is still time to join an existing group or start your own. We formed a group with a trio of moms here in western Kentucky and have a Facebook page for checking in and communicating. We are all excited about it. Especially me, because my mommy tank is in desperate need of refueling. 

Are you doing it too? If not, go check it out!

One of Those Weeks...You Know the Ones

This has been one of those weeks...you know, the ones that you can't wait to be over so you can get back to normal. This week was off track right out of the gate on Monday.

A little background: Last Saturday afternoon, I let IB go out to play with a little boy from down the street, who then came to play at our house for a short bit. It wasn't until he had been here for a while that I heard the cough and saw the red nose. Ugh. Too late.

Mondays are hard enough around here. Everyone wants to pretend it's still the weekend and shuffle around in their pajamas, doing a lot of nothing. To start off, the furnace has, increasingly, been making strange noises, so I call "the man" to come take a look at it. Papa Bear turns it off before "the man" gets here and when "the man" goes to check it out, it's very hot and won't come back on. Seriously. Thankfully, the furnace still has a few months left on the warranty, so he works his magic and we're only out $120 for labor. Add to that, the mucous party that has been brewing inside of IB for the past 48 hours. By evening, he's snotty, feeling worn out and whiny.

Tuesday is Papa Bear's birthday and I have plans to have dinner ready by 5:30 p.m. and to make his favorite oatmeal cookies. By early afternoon, I'm toting a feverish, clingy baby around on my hip, not getting a single thing done. I manage to get dinner done - with M1's help - after 7 p.m. Fortunately, one of Papa Bear's work buddies bought him dinner earlier. No cookies for Papa Bear today though. M2 only wants to nurse, sleep, and be held. At the same time. All day. And all night. And...

On Wednesday, IB is at the peak of congestion and M2 still has a fever but no other symptoms. I take my personal baby-size heater (read: feverish baby in sling) to the grocery store with me to get some necessities before the "big snow" that's coming. I load up on lots of healthy food and then I grab McDonald's on the way home. (Don't judge, please.) I finally get M2 to sleep without me close to midnight and stay up until 2 a.m. to catch up on dishes and chores. Perfect timing, because M2 wakes up and decides that the only way he can sleep now is to lay across my body.

Thursday morning, we wake up to a beautiful white landscape that will continue to fall all day. IB is feeling a little better, but now M2 is congested and sneezing it out. {Sorry for the visual.} The day goes fairly smooth until M2 throws up on me. This is the first time he has ever really thrown up and you know what he does as soon as he is finished? He smiles. I go to clean him up and realize he also has diarrhea. Double whammy! Poor little guy. Bath time! Later, the hobbits are getting cabin fever and are bouncing off the walls, so I bundle them up and they go outside. For 10 minutes. It is days like this, I am a little thankful for TV. The older boys are smart. They finish their school and chores and stay upstairs playing games.

Right now, M2 is content, pulling papers out of a basket. I don't even care that he's making a mess. He isn't whiny or feverish or throwing up or wanting me to hold him. Oh, spoke too soon. Hopefully, Friday will be better and no one else will be sick. Who am I kidding? LJ hasn't had it yet. The bigger boys may get by without catching this stuff, but not the hobbit.

But I realize that this IS normal. A different variety of normalness that requires me, all of us, to slow down. It forces me to stop all of the busy-ness and focus on nurturing and meeting the needs of my children. To be thankful for each moment that we have together. To be thankful for this flexible lifestyle of homeschooling. To be thankful for the very short time frame I have to hold my babies and nurse them when they are sick. I know that this will pass and the daily routine will go back to "normal" again. And I'll get caught up in it. Until I'm reminded once more to slow down.

Inspiration for a New Year

Sometimes, the Creator of the universe grabs our attention through a computer screen. Through the inspired words of another mom in a blog post. In between reading about organizing tips and cookie recipes, I am halted by words that convict me, inspire me, give me hope, and redirect my focus. 

At the Well, I found parenting inspiration while reading A Heart to Serve and Parenting on Our Knees. Most of the time, I strive to do the right thing, the right way and become disappointed when I don't get the desired result. How easy it is to forget to turn it over to the Lord in prayer first, instead of waiting until my feeble, flawed human efforts don't produce the outcome I want.

While reading Courtney's post about her theme word for 2011 at Women Living Well, a word came to me - devotion. This year has flown by and was filled with life-changing events right out of the gate. Most were good things, but I allowed a few difficult experiences to steal my joy and I put up a wall to protect myself. In doing so, I pulled away from relationships and began to grow bitter. My goal for the new year is to be devoted - to making time for reading my Bible and having quiet time with God, to becoming a prayer warrior for my family, to becoming a better help mate for my husband, to becoming an instrument for the Lord, to teaching my sons by example. I will be devoted to letting God work in my life.

"Busy mom syndrome" has become my excuse for not reading my Bible regularly and it is apparent in the fruit of my daily life. Jess at Making Home says it better than I could with her article, Like a Newborn Baby. I was further inspired to action by reading Goal Setting Tips for the New Year - From a 7 Year Old. If Kat's 7yo daughter can read the Bible in a year, so can I. 

Reading blogs and blogging can distract you and steal your time, but God can redeem it by leading you to places that will refill your spirit and refocus your attention. I have to go now. I have things to do.

As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man.  -Proverbs 27:15 NIV

Burn-Out-itis

Being in our eleventh year of homeschooling, with a final total of five boys, you can imagine that I've been through a few seasons of "burn out". As a matter of fact, I'm in one of those seasons now. In case you haven't noticed, I haven't blogged much about our actual homeschooling. That's because we've been struggling this year to get back on track. Our daily routine is not to my liking but we seem to be stuck in it and the older boys are having serious motivational issues. Thankfully, the hobbits, Isaac and Levi, are always ready for school.

My attitude has been less than ideal for setting the mood in our home. Honestly, it just stinks. I have been snippy with everyone, tired of the rut I'm in, complaining instead of thankful, procrastinating, nagging....Ugh. Not the pretty picture I would like for everyone to have of me. And the saying is true: If Mom's not happy, no one is. I know where the problem lies. It would be easier to blame everyone else but that wouldn't fix anything. It stems from the build-up of nasty, self-centered sludge inside of my own heart. Yes, being a wife and a homeschooling momma to five active boys, nursing a baby, cooking and cleaning, and managing our home takes a lot from me and can lead to burnout all by itself. But I have been neglecting my spirit and my relationship with my Creator. I've been keeping it all to myself, letting it accumulate into a huge, black cloud over our family. I am ready to let go of it and humble myself before God. I am ready to be renewed.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, 
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.  

Psalm 51:10-12